Forever Reign

I heard this song for the first time in church today. Truly it was one of those moments where my heart stopped. My journey for the last week and a half or so has been a lot of God teaching me that He is enough. Nothing in this world fulfills completely. Nothing. Not divine revelation, not scriptural truth, not blessed relationships, not a life of ministry. All of these things are wonderful and they are of God to be sure, but in and of themselves, they will never be enough to fully satisfy my soul. Only the presence of God can do that. Only spending time marveling at who He is and what He's done, listening to Him call me His beloved. Only He is enough. The Person of God. This is the importance of solitude. This is the only place where my spirit finds rest... wrapped in the arms of my Beloved. More on that later, but for now, enjoy these lyrics. If you're brave, check out the video. I don't think you'll be disappointed.

In His arms,
Stephanie

Forever Reign - from the album "A Beautiful Exchange" by Hillsong

You are good, You are good
When there's nothing good in me
You are love, You are love
On display for all to see
You are light, You are light
When the darkness closes in
You are hope, You are hope
You have covered all my sin

You are peace, You are peace
When my fear is crippling
You are true, You are true
Even in my wandering
You are joy, You are joy
You're the reason that I sing
You are life, You are life,
In You death has lost it's sting

Oh, I’m running to Your arms,
I’m running to Your arms
The riches of Your love
Will always be enough
Nothing compares to Your embrace
Light of the world forever reign

You are more, You are more
Than my words will ever say
You are Lord, You are Lord
All creation will proclaim
You are here, You are here
In Your presence I'm made whole
You are God, You are God
Of all else I'm letting go

My heart will sing
no other Name
Jesus, Jesus

Once Again

I'm making a new effort to start keeping up with this blog again (third time's the charm, right?). God's taking me on too much of a journey not to share it. The plan is you'll find a mixture of poetry, devotionals, and just thoughts stemming from the adventure I have embarked on with the Lover of my Soul. May you taste and see His goodness as you read the words He is writing on my heart.

And let's not make this one way. The greatest thing that could come of this is for God to begin showing you the adventure He's taking you on. Leave comments. Share your story. Start your own blog. I'm learning that there is something really powerful that happens as we share our stories. "We shall overcome by the Blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimonies."

With His song in my heart,

Stephanie

Sweet Release

When I look in Your eyes

I’m overwhelmed by emotions

Words fail to describe

My heart stirs inside

My chest

It’s as if my heart was ice

And at Your touch

It melted

And became this flood of praise

Surging through my veins

Falling from my lips

Like rain

And then the tears came

To prove I’ve been healed

And some might say

I should refrain

And perhaps maintain

My dignity

But I ask them

What dignity?

For I knew not the meaning of the word

Until I heard

Your voice singing over me

As I sat at Your feet

And felt the sweet release

Of freedom

So I’ll break the neck of my alabaster jar

Because You broke the chains that held my heart

I owe You everything

So I’ll give You everything

That means anything

To me

I’ll let the fragrance of my offering

Rise

Because I love You

Rabbi

And Lover of my soul

Stephanie M. Frakes

(August 24, 2010)

Everyday a New Song

So I was enjoying some much needed quiet time with my Father the other night when I found myself praying an interesting prayer. I longed for God to reveal to me the newness of each day. You see, I often find myself falling into such a routine that I start to live without thinking, and I hate that! I don't like feeling like I'm just caught up in some whirlwind. I don't like living on autopilot.

I guess it's like this. One of the things that I love most about music is a reflection of one of the things I love most about God. Music is never the same twice. Once a note rings out, it's gone. You'll never hear it again. And while that might sound dismal, that's really the beauty of it. Music is constantly new! I mean, sure you practice enough and consistency is sure to follow (at least that's the goal, generally speaking). This consistency can actually border on tiring and monotonous, perhaps playing on autopilot? But if you listen closely, it's actually always new. There are intricate little details, nuances that are slightly different each time. Truly, it's beautiful if you're willing to listen.

And so it is with God. His character never changes, but no experience with Him is the same twice. It may seem routine, but if you're opened to it, and if you really look for it, God is singing new songs everyday. That's why it says in Lamentations that God's mercies are new every morning. And so my prayer is that I would learn to see that. That I would live my life sensitive to His Spirit. That I would stop trudging along, eyes to the ground and take in even the subtle newness of each day. Because life lived in step with the Spirit may be routine, but it is anything but monotonous. Even being caught up in a whirlwind brings it's own kind of adventure.

Here's to new songs!

Full Out Symphony

Full-Out Symphony

There are times

A simple melody will do

A single line

Can bring me face to face with You

I don’t need more

To make my spirit rise

In little things

Your love takes me by surprise

But then there are days

When it seems Your glory fades

No melody can stir

This heart in stone encased

And I need more

Than a whisper of song

To reach through dark

And bring the light of dawn

So here I am

In tears and on my knees

I’m begging you

To play a full-out symphony

Sound the horns

Before a heart like Jericho

Tear down the walls

With the sweeping of Your bow

Beat the drums

‘Til this heart beats in time

Maestro, play

And Father, hold me tight

Stephanie M. Frakes

(December 25, 2009)

Two-Part Invention

A two-part invention is a short contrapuntal composition in which two independent melodies are woven together to create one piece of music. They push both the pianist’s skill and ear. My piano teacher says they are like fiber. Everyone needs them, but nobody wants them. When I started playing my first invention, that’s exactly how I felt, but in the end I came to love the intricate texture of these little pieces and actually requested to play more, much to the amusement of my teacher. I began to see how the two “independent” parts intertwined like the threads of a tapestry, interlocking so neatly, so perfectly they could no longer be separated for danger of destroying the art. As I pondered this newly discovered beauty, I quickly came to the conclusion that my life is a two-part invention. I live each day in counterpoint with my beautiful Savior. It is a complex relationship, and we are certainly both independent, but as we walk together our hearts are so deeply intertwined that we become one. We become one beautiful song. We cannot be separated, for I am nothing without Him, and the art would be lost. Together though, the music is incomparably stirring. It’s a glorious picture, and I can’t help falling in love, which is fine with me. One should never shrink away from falling in love. Never. Even with two-part inventions.

In Counterpoint

As my hands glide

Across the black and white

I can see a picture

Of the way I’d like to live my life

As melodies

Intertwine

In an intricate kind

Of beauty

I feel my soul cry

For Your heart

To come and meet with mine

In counterpoint

A composition so divine

And sacred

And I realize

That I just might

Fall madly in love

With the Composer

And that’s perfectly alright

For this is Life

In counterpoint

Stephanie M. Frakes

(January 29, 2009)

Singing from the Empty Place

I’m thinking about singing. No surprise there… I’m always thinking about singing. There is, though, one particular thought that keeps running through my mind. Empty places. I doubt the connection makes any sense to anyone, so I’ll explain. Sometime during my first semester of “college-level voice lessons” (insert voice tinged with sarcastic superiority here) my teacher told me that “we sing from our wounds.” Sounds really fun, right? I suppose it adds a certain depth to a singer’s art. Our experiences, particularly our painful ones, give substance to our songs. It’s what draws an audience in. You know, that moment when a singer sends chills down your spine. All that said, for the better part of a semester, I have been a rather frustrated voice student. You see, every time I made a really great sound (or even a half-way decent one) I was either on the verge of tears or would break down completely. This was torturous for me because I hate tears. I am just not a fan of crying. I don’t know why. Perhaps I feel like tears are manifestations of the weakness I try to hide (a weakness that comes from nothing else but the fact that I am human, something that I am pretty sure I have in common with about six billion other people). Perhaps I just think I look terribly unattractive when I cry (though I don’t know anyone who thinks they do look attractive when they cry…). In this case though, I think the real reason is that I couldn’t find the reason, and that drove me crazy. I mean, sure I understood about singing from the wounds and the pain that would result, but what wounds was I singing from? It just made no sense to me. So I decided to spend a little time searching.

But, surprisingly, I didn’t find wounds. I found, quite simply, empty places within my soul. Oh yes, it does sound deep and profound, doesn’t it? It’s not really. We all have them. Sort of like we all have sinuses. They’re just there. What are these empty places? Many would call them unfulfilled longings. I believe they are what Ecclesiastes would call “eternity on the hearts of men.” That yearning that God placed in us. That unavoidable feeling that we were made for something greater, for something lasting, not like the fleeting moments of the lives we live. Whether we realize it or not, the empty places are those parts of us that remind us that we were made for eternity and an eternal God. To be completely honest, we live, or at least I live most of my life unaware that these places even exist. And that’s an easy way to live. I feel no ache of longings unfulfilled. But then I start to sing, and something happens. In the same way my sound resonates in the openness of a recital hall, something about God’s love, His very Presence, resonates within every one of my empty places. As melodies ascend, I come face to face with my God. I catch a glimpse of eternity, and I long for more. I realize what I’m missing here. And that stirs me and brings a tear to my eye. All because I must face the fact that I live in a fallen world and I am a fallen being and, this side of Heaven, I will always be limited by that. The empty places that are filled for that moment will be empty again.

And so I am left with a choice. I can run from the empty places and continue living a safe life unaware of their existence. Or I can be brave, take a flying leap off of a cliff, and sing from the empty places. I can embrace the bittersweet taste of eternity like the richness of some luscious dark chocolate. Truly, the tears will soon dissolve as the utter joy of the fullness of God’s resonance overpowers the ache that might go along with it.

Singer or not, we all face this choice. What will we do with the empty places?