Sometimes I just don't know how to walk this life. I pretend I do... with my big talk and pretty words. I try to... by writing gifts and writing Word on the walls of the mind, hoping it will sink into my heart, travel that farthest distance. Sometimes though, life gets blurry and foggy and I am tired and worn and I'm good at forgetting and getting distracted and bad at the discipline of stopping and giving it over and putting one foot in front of the other. And it all goes over my head and I can't get it to sink in and anxiety and anger come easier than patience and joy.
And maybe what I need is to step out of my tent, out of this flesh in this everyday life, and gather the manna. I need to get down on my knees and scoop it up, breathe His Spirit deep. Because I can see it, this mysterious providence I don't deserve, and I can even be thankful for it, marvel at the gift, hear how this "What is it?" speaks of deep, deep love... I can see it and still walk by it, still hunger deep until I stop, fully stop, stoop down in humility and gather the manna. God can provide, but I will not be sustained until I drop down to my knees, scoop it up and put it to my lips. God can provide, but I must GATHER and EAT. God fulfills, but I must drink. Oh Lord, let me scoop and gather and not walk by!