There’s this place in life that I love. We only find it right after we’ve been
running at break neck pace for a while, trying to meet a deadline. It’s that moment of exhalation. Breathing room. I take
the blinders off, stand in place, arms spread wide, and turn slowly, just
absorbing it all, rather than being absorbed myself by the million things I had
to get done before. Things feel a little
brighter here. A little easier. A little lighter. Blessings appear clearer. God’s grace is more vibrant. It’s a good place.
Three months ago, I was struggling, really struggling with
the unknowns in life. I wanted so badly
to know where I was going and when. I
had chosen to sign a lease with some friends and stay in Abilene at what I
felt at the time was God’s prompting, but as time drifted by and doors remained
closed… well, I became depressed and anxious.
I believed that God had a plan – and a big one – for this coming school
year. I guess maybe I believed because I
had to, not because I was really trusting.
I’d made a choice and I felt stuck, so I had to believe God was up to
something… I couldn’t possibly have been wrong!
(I say that tongue in cheek, but really, perfectionists of the world, I
know you can relate!) Now I’m in that
breathing room moment and I can see all God really has done. He really did have a plan.
Monday night I conducted my first elementary music
program. One of the songs that I
conducted was actually one that I learned fourteen years ago as an elementary
student myself. I didn’t even have music
for it. I just remembered it and taught
it to my kids that way. Then they took
it to the stage and I conducted as they performed it. A dream came true. I don’t know why it blows my mind the way it
does. I mean, God is good and faithful
and true. He is love. He is forever gracious unto me. And yet I stand in awe of His blessings. I can’t believe I get to do this! I get to wake up every morning and walk with
children as they learn and grow. I saw
the light in their eyes after they saw their hard work come to fruition in a
great performance. I got to provide them
that opportunity, the chance to come together and create something more. That’s big.
I’m watching these kids discover the feel of a steady beat. I had forgotten how neat that really is… feeling the
beat in a piece of music. I’m watching them create, and
learn, and make connections. I see the
excitement in their eyes when I tell them they can share their gifts with
everyone in the class. I'm seeing myself grow too! I am the most
richly blessed woman you will ever meet.
No, I don’t get paid nearly enough.
Yes, this is an exhausting job.
Do I care? Absolutely not. Call me corny, but nothing can replace the
light in their eyes, the hugs, the smiles, the “aha” moments. 10,000 reasons for my heart to sing! How many people have the daily reminder of joy, the sense of purpose in life that I have? How many people get to get this excited about their everyday get-up-and-go lives?!
And don’t get me started on when the day ends and I get to
go home to the amazing roommate family I have.
Precious, precious friends! It is
love, and I see it every day in the community surrounding me. I lack nothing. Sure, there are things I wish were
different. Some days I act like I lack
things. But the truth is that I lack
NOTHING. My God is so good. He is so faithful. It’s hard to trust a plan that’s beyond even
my imagination, but it’s worth every tear.
It’s worth every dry and weary day of waiting. So “here I raise my Ebenezer, hither by Thy
help I’ve come.” On with the journey!
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