Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Enough to Keep Me Singing

I had a very different post in mind for today, but that can wait. I think instead that I'll share with you word-for-word my journal entry from just a few minutes ago. Hopefully your heart will be as encouraged as mine was.

I laugh at myself sometimes. I can only imagine what I must look like on days like today when the weather is perfect and all the world seems bright and beautiful and full of hope and potential. So here I sit, back against a tree, journal on my lap, pen in hand, mesmerized by everything around me. I suppose it might appear kind of silly, but I love it. And it's nice to just enjoy God's presence and all of His gifts and not be victim to fear or anxiety. The breeze seems to hit at just the right time so it feels like the fondest touch, and joy and affection bubble over in my heart.

Believe me, I know how cheesy it sounds! But it's true! I cherish times like these when I can literally turn my back on everything and just sit with my Beloved and soak. And it's so clear that God really does have a plan for freedom and wholeness and redemption, even though I can't always see, feel, or imagine it. Moments like these remind me that no matter what happens God is good and loving and faithful. He makes a way for us to get out of the pit and press on. And as if that were not enough, He does more than help us escape out of darkness... He grows us there. He meets us there. He speaks to us there. He teaches us profound lessons there. He takes darkness, and speaks light. He takes the shards of brokenness and creates a new masterpiece that is greater and better and more like His image. And I love that about my Beloved. He doesn't just calm the storm and leave the clouds hanging over us. He makes the sun come out and the air is crisp and the grass is greener and the sky is more vibrant and blue than we ever remember. And by doing that, God makes the storm a glorious thing. He is SO good!

And just to know that is enough. To know He has a plan to make things right. To know He brings beauty from ashes. To know that He takes what the enemy intended for evil and turns it into the fertile soil in which our roots can dig deep as we grow in His likeness, like a tree planted by streams of clear water. To know that this delight I experience is His gift directly to me, His beloved. That's enough to keep me going and to push me passed the fear that tries to hinder. That's enough to make me willing to give my all and to be stretched. It's enough to make me willing to bear the cost of living given over. At least... I want it to be. When the tears fall and I'm flooded with "what if's" and the storm overwhelms me, I want to remember moments like now, and I want that to be enough.

Not every day is this beautiful. Not every day brings this same sense of rest and peace and the presence of my Beloved. Let's be real, some days... most days are chaos which drowns out the voice of my Shepherd. And yet just knowing that moments like these exist, knowing that I've lived them... that's enough to keep me singing, "it is will with my soul." Amen! Let it be so, Lord! Let it be so!

This is the journey that I am on. Learning to live firmly established in the fact that my Father has given me a grand inheritance, and that gift is nothing less than the very presence and affection of the God of the universe! I am learning to live as the Beloved, even when the world around me contradicts that. It's a good journey! I pray He's taking you down that path as well. We are deeply loved!

Always singing,

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