Thursday, October 1, 2015

31 Days of Open Grace - Day 1

There's something about October 1st.  The world is abuzz with pumpkin spiced everything and talk of sweaters and boots and changing seasons.  I feel like this doesn't happen at any other time of year.  To me, there is just something about the coming of cooler weather and the changing of colors that soothes the soul and inspires.

I'm out on the stairwell when it occurs to me.  There's a front blowing in and the leaves dance on the trees and there's something about how the breeze makes the stray pieces of hair around my face tickle my brow that makes me smile.  It gives me goosebumps.  I breathe it deep.  And then it hits me... It's been awhile since I've stopped and breathed it deep.  I think about how I took on a challenge this time last year to write every day for the month of October.  I haven't written since then.  At first I laugh.  I couldn't possibly take it on this year.  Writing every day?  I barely have time to breathe.  I'm burning out fast and running ragged.  I feel like I'm on a treadmill that's programmed just a little too fast and I'm about to lose it.  I can't seem to catch up, much less get ahead.  So who in her right mind takes on a writing challenge in the midst of it all?  I could never come up with anything quality when I'm in this state... Certainly not anything anyone would want to read.

But then I remember.  I remember what writing every day for a month did for me last year.  The discipline of sitting and putting thoughts down no matter how tired I felt.  The training myself to open my eyes and look for things worth writing about.  The releasing the expectations and giving myself the freedom to write, whether it turned out to be profound and beautiful or not.  I met one of my best friends last October.  I also reconnected with a friend from high school whom I will marry at the end of this year.  I don't know if that had anything to do with my writing.... but I know that I remember it.  I know that I noticed life that month in a different way.

So yes.  Even as I write this, I am asking myself if I know what I'm doing.  If I can actually do this in the midst of my crazy life.  But I say, why not?  We've got to create space for the things that fill our soul.  That takes discipline, accountability, and intentionality. So that's what this is.  It's more that writing every day.  It is committing myself to walking open once again - with open hands, open heart, and open eyes.  It's about training my eyes to see what God is doing around me and giving myself the freedom to speak.  So this is 31 Days of Open Grace.

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