Sunday, October 4, 2015

31 Days of Open Grace - Day 4

So I read this post yesterday and I see a revolution in the making. A new level of openness that is right there for us all. An openness that can lead to freedom. An openness that can shine light into darkness and tear down strongholds of lies. An openness that can unite the hearts of people instead of allowing us to go on living out this sick comparison game. I read this woman's honest words. I see her vulnerability. And all I can think is that I want in! I want to be able to stop hiding behind this Insta-worthy life, putting up hashtags like ramparts to guard my image.

And it's not that I want to go and air my dirty laundry for the world to see, but there is an undeniable power in the opening of our real, authentic selves to one another. There is something sacred in the "Oh! You too? All this time I thought I was alone."

Since choosing the word "open" as my theme for 2015, I have seen a lot. I met the man I will marry, because I couldn't close myself off to a chance at reconnecting with an old friend (another story for another time!). I have met God in a new way as I left the life I knew and had grown comfortable in for something brand new. I am a better teacher because I took a chance at a job in an inconvenient location and I could never imagine wanting to be anywhere else. I have seen redemption at work because I opened my hands to receive whatever came my way, even when it hurt.  And I want the world to know that. In a world where we are surrounded by brokenness, I want my words to show that God is near and He is good and He is at work in all things. I have much to be thankful for and I count the gifts daily.

So here's the thing... The person you see on Facebook and Instagram is not a fake. The twenty-something music teacher enjoying new adventures and counting down the days to her wedding and geeking out over Downton and Star Wars and loving her simple life... That's me. I mean every word. Every smile is genuine. But that's not all there is. There's more to it than that. And maybe that's what this month is about. If I can bring just a few things into the light that are holding me captive, sitting to write each day will be worth my time. If I can shed a little light for you and allow you the opportunity to exhale and say, "Oh! You too?  All this time I thought I was alone!" well, that would be such grace and an answer to prayer. So yeah, I'll open myself up to you a little bit.  I'll let you see a little of the woman who loves Jesus, but has to force herself to open her Bible.  The woman who says she wants to see her prayer life stretched, but cringes when people ask her to pray for them. The woman who played keyboard on the praise team, but isn't really a fan of walking into church. The woman who spends most of her thought energy comparing herself to everyone around her and hoping she can maybe pull off mediocre.  And there will be more. Because this year is about being open, and this month about open grace, so yeah. I'm going to go there.

No comments: