It's day 2 and already I have no idea what to write. It is a dry season. Putting thoughts together is hard. Sitting to write is harder. Openness is hard. It is hard because to be open requires that I sit still for at least a little while and listen. To be open means I need to be okay when the thoughts and the words don't come. To be open means to sit down and let my fingers fly anyway, because maybe it will come together, and maybe it doesn't matter if it does or not.
I am fairly convinced that I have nothing to say worth anyone's time. It has all been said before. But I am opening myself and my world anyway. Because I want to see again.
I want to live the life of an observer again. I want to count moments as gifts and cherish them again. I want to get off the treadmill and step outside and breathe the air. I want to lift my eyes up from the ground and look at the sky.
I want to actually hear the heart behind the incessant chatter of my students in the cafeteria. I want to cherish their excitement over a trip to Chuck-E-Cheese or that mom packed a cheese sandwich for lunch, because that's their favorite.
I want to sip life like fine wine even as I try to pour out my life as the same. I want moments to mean something. I don't want them to get lost in the shuffle.
I want to hear the whisper - that I am the beloved and you are the beloved. And I want to take time to bless and receive the blessing. I don't want to miss it!
And honestly, I don't think it's as hard as it seems. I think it just takes practice and accountability. I am praying that over the next 31 days my perspective will change and that I will learn to see my entire life differently. I don't know if I have anything to say. But I want to be changed.