Tuesday, October 14, 2014

31 Days of Trusting Grace - Day 14 - When You've Got Nothing Left to Give...

So I am feeling so in over my head and overwhelmed tonight.  So much so that driving home from work, the realization that I still had to write today brought me to tears.  It's not that things aren't going well.  I just feel like things are piling up and I don't have the mental space for all of it.  Then it's that horrid game where I start feeling guilty either for feeling overwhelmed or for not saying no where I should have.  Then I start feeling the pressure to prove myself and the volume on that sound track of "not enough" gets turned way, way up.  The inner critic jumps in and I am just done.  So tonight I'm running to the one thing that keeps me going - Eucharisteo.  (I can hear my friends now, "Oh, she's gotten to Eucharisteo.  I was wondering how long she was going to last before she got into her One Thousand Gifts obsession." ) So that's all I'm doing today - counting the gifts.  I'm giving thanks for the little things to remind myself of His greatness.  Because it's hard to see straight today, hard to pull two thoughts together.  And when you have nothing left to give, that's when you give thanks, because that's where miracles happen.  Ours is a God who uses the breaking to make us whole, who feeds a multitude off a few loaves and fishes, who calms storms and turns water to wine and heals blind men with spit and dirt.  Ours is a God who delights in giving good gifts to His children.  And I don't want anything to make me forget that.  

So here are some of the gifts this week:
-blanket forts in the fourth grade classroom
-awkward hugs
-sprinkler spinning in the front yard
-Tiny Companion to greet at the door
-Those kids singing
-Sunlight through stained glass
-Mockingbird singing in the tree
-Sunsets at the end of a hard day
-Facetiming with momma
-All those "me too"s as we struggle
-Students goofing off and waving at my window
-Work friends and laughter and venting
-The smell of rain
-Thunder in the distance
-Train whistles
-The sound of raindrops on leaves
-Pumpkin cheesecake season
-Balloons in the wind

He is always good, friends.  And we are always loved.

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